Hey Everyone! It’s Djeneba and Welcome to “Blossom With Me.” In today’s article I would like to talk about how we should not constantly compare ourselves to others. 

I would like to start off by stating that comparison is the thief of joy. It will make you feel as though your life is stagnant and that you have not accomplished anything. Whether you only completed one, all, or none of your goals this year, just know that you are not a failure. 

I am a firm believer that once a door gets slammed in your face another will open. This is the main reason I think that I don’t get jealous. I mean the kind of jealousy where I don’t sabotage others, insult them, or make others feel worthless. We all get jealous sometimes, but the intensity of everyone’s jealousy is different. 

Everytime I have ever wanted an opportunity and have been declined it, I don’t get angry. I may be disappointed, but I won’t let it ruin my day. A few days, months, or years later a better opportunity comes my way. I trust the process. What I am about to say is not my story, but it gets my point across. 

Last year I saw someone I know (let’s call her Nora) post on social media a rejection letter from her dream school. A few months later during the school year, Nora was awarded a full-ride scholarship to any school of her choice. This is what I mean by trusting the process. Nora could have been bitter, unmotivated, and gave up on school, but she did not. She also did not look at other students who got accepted into her dream school to despise them or insult them; rather Nora focused on getting good grades, still did her extracurriculars, and spent time with loved ones like nothing happened. By not focusing on the negative and continuing doing good, someone else saw her potential and awarded her a gift that she will forever be grateful for. 

Moreover, one should not compare themselves to others because you don’t know what it took for them to get where they are at. Neither does the other person know what it took for you to get where you are at. It is important to practice gratitude because even though everyone has their struggles it’s crucial to step back and see how your situation could have turned out much worse. By comparing yourself to others you are focusing on bringing others down rather than using that time and energy on raising yourself up. Sometimes comparison is motivating, but most of the time it is destructive. It is motivating when you use the comparison to learn something new and improve on your current self instead of bringing others down. 

You can be anything you put your mind to, but you can’t be everything in the world. When we compare ourselves we are comparing the best feature that someone else has to something we are average at. It is a natural reaction to want to be better than the other person and can become self destructive when we realize that we can’t be as good as them. We all want what someone else has instead of focusing on what we are already great at. The only thing we can be better at than someone else is just being ourselves. No one can be a better you than you can be. I am not only saying this to be stereotypical or cringey because we can see it in our everyday lives with celebrity impersonators or a younger sibling following everything an older sibling does. No matter how much they try to be like them, they will never be them. That’s just how life works. 

When you have the mindset knowing that no one else can be you, you will be comfortable with where you are at in life and be more grateful. Your life starts to become better because you are operating it to better the talents and skills that you already have. You will focus more on the present moment rather than focusing on false comparisons. The standards that others hold against you is none of your business. As long as you are reaching your goals and improving day by day on your timing, that is all that matters. You can listen to other people’s opinions, however you should not let it exhaust you. 

The most important things in life are internal. Do what makes you happy if it will better yourself and the world. I know figuring out what matters to you is hard, and listening to what other people’s expectations for you is easier, but you only have one life and you should live it how you want to. 

That is all that I have for you today. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for blossoming with me! 

*I do not own rights to the cover picture